Wednesday Wingnut Watch
Wingnuts Describing Themselves Edition
Glenn Beck: “I am not a rodeo clown.” Not any more. I decided to change my mind about that.
Bob “FUBO” Lonsberry: “I am one of the most ambitious and hard-working people I know.” Last week Lonsberry explained he is taking a month off from writing his online column. We’ve been tough on him lately… does he need the time to massage his aching winguts? No, he is trying to write a book, if he can manage to get around to it after filling his time by making excuses such as this:
And all my life I’ve wanted to write a book. All my life I’ve wanted the opportunity to write a book. But since this opportunity arose, like a gift from above, I have been inexplicably impotent. I have completely lacked the volition to begin and complete this project. I have had several false starts - essentially every time I’ve taken vacation - but I’ve gotten essentially nowhere. I have an outline of the book in my head, I have notes for chapter topics, the material is a natural product of my philosophy and passion, and yet I can’t force myself to sit down and write.
Chuck “Wingnut Texas Ranger” Norris: “I’m a legend in my own, uh, um … listen, I’m a legend.”
For those who somehow have not heard of the Chuck Norris facts, they are mythical expressions of my life and abilities, a collection of sayings, quips and quotes, created by young and old alike, that have elevated my character and personhood to almost legendary, Paul Bunyan-like status.
I’ve heard it said that there are literally hundreds of thousands of Chuck Norris facts that circle the globe. They proliferate on the Internet, are found in speeches and books, and are written on bathroom walls from schools in America to battlefields in the Middle East.
Related posts:
After watching GB I am convinced he is the leading comic mind of our time. Even better than Rush.
He appears to be channeling Dave Thomas’ character Bill Needles from SCTV (go watch some) but way better since everyone believes he is real (!!)
Wait he is “real” in a manner of speaking
I’m disappointed. I thought certainly Whoopi Goldberg would have made this week’s edition for her outlandish statements in support of Roman Polanski. Call me old fashioned but I don’t share the European View that a 13 year-old having non-consensual sex pumped full of roofies and booze with a man three times her age is perfectly normal.
So, where is the gathering going to be tonight for the Big Olberdoofus Program? I read he’s going to have an hour long Speshul Komment. I wonder how many dramatic pauses, camera angle changes, and “SIRS” he’ll squeeze into 60 minutes? He IS King of the Wingnuts.
I do believe there is a rule for journalists/anchors/whatever he wants to be called: don’t lose your cool on the air.
Yeah, you’d think that but neither Keith Olbermann or Ed Schultz seem to have gotten that memo. What’s MSNBC to do though, those are two of the horses they’ve hitched their collective wagon to.
At least Keith and Ed are being straightforward and NOT pretending to be morally pure.
“I’m just a dad doing this for my kids.”?
In the words of a Stephanie Miller sound bite,
“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit”