Co-sleeping revisited
Looks like co-sleeping is back in the news again with a blog post by Rachel Barnhart at 13wham.com, now with a Public Campaign against it and PSAs on Youtube. I did a piece on this awhile back, but it’s time to revisit and get the facts straight, Mam.
Here’s the PSA:
What, exactly were the circumstances surrounding these “43″ deaths? Were the parents smokers?, intoxicated?, obese?, under the influence of medications? Was the baby even in the bed with a parent, or was it a sibling, or was the baby in the adult bed alone?
Now, how many babies died in cribs last year, away from their parents? Why is that statistic not provided?
It’s probably not provided, because it is not known. Take a look at this article:
Susan Honaker of Sterling Heights, Mich., lost her 3-week-old son, Evan, in May 2005.”He was totally healthy, two weeks early. He had been lying beside me. I woke up and found him gone at about 9 in the morning,” she said.
“I called for six weeks straight trying to find out why he died, and they put me off that they were waiting for such and such to come back. Finally they put on the death certificate: ‘Accidental suffocation due to hazardous sleeping environment.’ “
“The coroner told me flat-out: ‘If you’d found him in a crib, I would have called it SIDS, but since he was laying with you, I put this.’ But there was no evidence from the autopsy or the bedding that he suffocated. I’ve done a lot of research since then, and they don’t know,” Honaker said.
Here’s a news flash in response to the PSA: “Babies don’t do anything better alone. Babies are meant to be with their mothers. They don’t have the mechanisms in their brains to soothe themselves, so alone is not such a good idea.”
Update: Rachel has reported on the new findings, without saying “yay”, or “nay” on the issue itself. I’m just trying to get to the extenuating circumstances surrounding the deaths. Until they are uncovered, the PSAs will continue to instill fear into new parents, possibly unfounded.
Um. . . forgive me if this seems obtuse, but if you could avoid living with the guilt of having killed your child by rolling over them in the night - either because you’re drunk or just a heavy sleeper - why would you not just, like, do that?
Cribs are small and can easily fit in a bedroom, if you need them to. Besides which, I think you underestimate children when you say the don’t have “mechanisms” to soothe themselves.
When was the last time you rolled out of bed? You probably haven’t done that since you were… three? Because you know the edge is there. You know the baby is there, too.
How about living with the guilt of having your baby die of crib death in a crib away from the mother? Did we throw out cribs when babies died in them-no we found safe ways to put babies in cribs. How about safe co-sleeping guidelines? Babies do not have the mechanisms in place, yet, to soothe themselves. I’m not underestimating babies, has to do with the size of the brain when a baby is born.
Babies and children die in cars- do we stop transporting them in that manner? No, we find the way to keep them safest while traveling, aka car-seats.
From Dr Nils Bergman:
I’m not against co-sleeping, but it definately isn’t for everyone or every baby. I never slept a wink if I tried having my baby in bed with us. Made us all miserable the next day. Overall, the crib was the best thing for us. I have friends who have very successfully co-slept though. I don’t think it’s right for either group to judge one another about that type of parenting decision.
I agree, Andrea. That’s why I think the information should be available for parents to make that decision based on what’s right for them. I would just encourage parents to look into this for themselves and not rely on the MSM to provide them with the tools they will need to make that determination. The PSAs are misleading. Just another thing to make parents fearful of. Knowledge is power, everyone. Read!!
ladkiddo - I’d feel WAY more guilty about a death that occurred in my bed than a SIDS death that occurred in a crib despite my best efforts (putting baby on back, no blankets, no toys, etc…) I feel badly for the mother in your example b/c it probably was a SIDS death, but she’ll always have that doubt about it.
My daughter needed me to soothe her. I was happy to get out of bed to do it. Again, more sleep for both of us that way b/c of my anxities.
Andrea,
If I am sounding judgmental, I apologize. I do not mean to be so. I did not co-sleep with my first 2 and I don’t feel guilty about it. They’re great kids and are doing fine. I wasn’t brave enough to buck the system until the third, with whom I slept til he was 7 years old. He, also is doing fine. Every dyad is unique. Bloom where you’re planted.
No, you don’t sound judgemental about it. you’re right - everyone is different.
Here’s the latest systematic literature review I could find on co-sleeping:
http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/161/3/237
Bottom line: more and better studies needed, no clear conclusion, etc. for non-smoking sober families sleeping in beds, not couches. I don’t know how we go from this to PSAs on the dangers of co-sleeping.
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/overlaying.html
I think this information from James McKenna, is also helpful. I would agree with Rotten that more studies, revealing the actual circumstances of these infant mortalities are in order.
Don’t let some asinine psa trump your parenting instincts.
Infants abandoned while they sleep to some crib are deprived of the safety and security of a loving parent. When you deprive babies of human interaction, they feel they world is a cold lonely place. Do this too much and they will be drawn to the cold, harsh world view of the Republican party.
[...] addressed co-sleeping a couple of days back. Allow me to hone my message a bit. I just want the truth to come out and [...]
[...] speaking about co-sleeping, I found this quote to be applicable to our situation here. From Linda Smith: Life is a constant [...]