Take a hypothetical county. Let’s call it, oh, I don’t know… Monroe.

And in this hypothetical county of Monroe, there are two political factions, called the Reds and the Blues. And, for whatever reason, the Reds run the county, though there are actually more Blues living there. All well and good.

Now, the people of Monroe choose their main lawyer, called the DA. This DA is supposed to represent the people of Monroe as their chief plaintiff, along with managing a stable of other lawyers to help him out.

Though this DA got the job with the endorsement of the Blues, he’s actually Green, employing his lawyers based not on the color of their faction, but in their skill as barristers.

The Reds, however, don’t like any non-Reds. Though the DA is trying to do the best, non-political job he can, they still mess with his work. They stop the DA from giving any pay raises to his loyal, hardworking staff, which “has made it difficult to keep talented attorneys who can earn much more working at private firms. One prosecutor,” this Green DA affirms, even “left to join the sheriff’s road patrol to make more money.”

Now, the state thinks that the office of the DA is not only doing a good job, but also should get some help, so they want to give him some free money to hire more staff. The Reds don’t like the idea of non-Reds getting State aid, so they refuse to allow him to get this free money.

Sound dysfunctional? Well, I have a secret for you: Monroe is real.

A $66,000 state grant to offer bonuses to assistant district attorneys in Monroe County is being held up by the GOP-controlled County Legislature over concerns that it would be unfair to give one department money over another.

Does this even make sense?

But the Republicans’ position is drawing jeers from District Attorney Mike Green, a Democrat, and Democratic legislators. Green said his assistant district attorneys, who have an average starting salary of about $51,000, haven’t had a raise in three of the last five years because of a county freeze on salaries.

The money would help recruit and retain a staff of about 75 assistant district attorneys, he said. Green said the salary freeze, which was lifted two years ago, has made it difficult to keep talented attorneys who can earn much more working at private firms.

So, the GOP is deliberately stopping our government from hiring talent. Specifically, they’re disabling the bit of government that goes after criminals. Don’t we have a rather large problem of homicides? If murder is such a big worry, wouldn’t it make sense to beef up our people who go after murderers?

Democratic legislators are crying foul, saying that the GOP wants to thwart Green as he seeks re-election this year. Cara Briggs, Green’s Republican opponent and a former prosecutor, has criticized Green for not being able to retain attorneys.

Democrats said there is no good reason not to accept the money, which would come at no expense to county taxpayers.

“It’s not hard to connect the dots: a Democratic district attorney running this election year, Republican leadership decides not to accept a grant helpful to his office,” said Legislator Ted O’Brien, D-Irondequoit, who is also seeking re-election this year. “Unfortunately, it looks like another example of the county executive and the majority office of the legislature putting politics above the interests of the community.”